What to Keep No. 1:The power of complete sets

Whatever you call it — tidying, purging, editing, donating, even Swedish death cleaning — getting rid of stuff is ridiculously satisfying. I have my own method I developed called Hunting Sick Zebras.

But before we explore the thrill of the hunt, I believe we should flip the focus from what to get rid of...to what we want to keep. I like to say this is the new “homekeeping” — living only with those things that matter to us and serve us. This is how we go from merely filling our house to creating a home that fills us.

Intentionally choosing which things to live with — and in what quantities you need to run your household in peace and style — creates a practical baseline for how you want to live. It lets you find a place for everything, so that everything that matters has a place. It also makes it easier for you to be a great host or hostess.

In deciding what to keep to create a welcoming home, the logical place to start is in the kitchen, where we do the most welcoming.

Are you an 8 or a 12?
First up: ask yourself how many people you will typically entertain in one sitting. There are young singles starting out who can happily get by with only six of any place settings or flatware in the kitchen, especially with a dishwasher at the ready. But the way of the world is usually in sets of eight or 12. Beyond 12, you can use affordable boxed catering sets, borrow from your mother or sister, or resort to nice paperware. My large and nearby family necessitates being a twelver. If you have a smaller family, or live in a city away from family, you might be an eight. Once you’ve designated your number, there’s no need to maintain 12 of some things and six or eight of others. Sticking with your chosen number will streamline your kitchen.

Mixing and matching is overrated, and more work
In the 1990s under the reign of Martha Stewart, a high-maintenance trend appeared of mixing and matching china, flatware, crystal and the like. Just think of all those pieces to hunt for, curate, purchase individually and cleverly arrange for each meal. All that work and you haven’t even started cooking yet.

Sometimes the mixing and matching isn’t intentional, but rather creeps in over time in the form of assorted travel tumblers, kids’ cups and logo-ridden coffee mugs. I was helping my darling sister-in-law tidy her kitchen recently, including her eclectic assortment of mugs. Each mug had its turn in court, pleading its case for remaining. At one point, I discovered a straggler mug sequestered in those almost unattainable little cabinets above the refrigerator, and presented it to her for judgment.

“Oh, put that one out of reach,” she nonchalantly said. “Every time someone drinks from it, something really weird happens to them.” I set the mug down like the black plague. She assured me actually sipping from the mug was required to unleash its power. I voted it off the island just in case.

Thankfully, there’s a better way to open your kitchen cabinets and find exactly what you need and nothing you don’t, like bewitched drinking vessels. Here is a practical list of complete sets in your kitchen that will bring peace, calm and entertaining confidence.

What to keep in sets of 8 or 12

  • Place settings of nice everyday, dishwasher-safe white dishes
  • Wooden individual salad bowls
  • Place settings of 18/10 stainless steel flatware
  • Sizeable drinking glasses (consider French bistro style for their charm and durability)
  • 8 oz. juice glasses (again French bistro style)
  • Wine glasses (you don’t need both red and white, just get the larger red glasses and enjoy)
  • Champagne flutes
  • Cocktail high balls
  • Placemats
  • Nice linen or cotton napkins

Merrytop tip: ladies in waiting
Choose your sets from a national retailer from whom you can easily reorder broken, chipped or stained pieces. I love Crate and Barrel for this reason. Year after year, they stock proven winners that never go out of style. If you break a wine glass, no big deal. Just order a new one from your chosen style for a song, and your set is complete again. In fact, I over-order to have two or so “ladies in waiting” stashed away in the top of my pantry in case something gets broken. In those moments, I can honestly say, “No worries! I have an extra!” And all the angst we feel from breaking something is swept away, and peace and comfort continue to hold sway. It’s a gift to my guests, my family and myself.

-->